Fun With Online Dating Pt 1

It’s that glorious time of the year again. What? Can anything be glorious when the holidays are over? Yes, I am not talking about Christmas, New Years’ or Kwanza , I am talking about my not-so-annual online dating blog post!

Online dating is such a weird institution. We’ve taking something already overly complicated (dating) and thrown into the infinite creepiness of the internet. Part of the problem is it’s too easy to just window shop. There are so many profiles that it becomes routine to just pass over people for the slightest reasons. Don’t like that hat she’s wearing? Pass. Typo in the bio? Pass. Don’t like this dog or that kind of beer? Pass, pass, pass. You get the idea. It makes us a lot pickier for whatever reason. But there are other things to consider as well such as…

What are the rules of online dating? Is your profile good enough (or does it even matter?). What do you say in a direct message? What if that special someone is on Match and you’re on Eharmony? See what I mean?

All of this of course brings us to the headlines, bios and pictures; those three ever important elements that trip so many people up. Some people just try way too hard with their headlines and the result is not pretty Here are some examples.

“Let our eyes meet and our friendship begin.” Ugh really? How about, “let our eyes meet and then keep awkwardly looking away from each other.”

“Looking for my first last kiss.” This poor girl obviously has a thing for serial killers or maybe she meant, “Looking for my last first kiss?” Either way it’s still lame.

“Things end but memories last forever.” Until you grow old, forget everything and are still single.

“Sunshine mixed with a little bit of hurricane.” Is this is a recipe for an alcoholic beverage?

“I don’t date ugly men, where are all the handsome ones?” Um, they are off dating the pretty girls?

“ { O v O }” – Who gives a hoot? Apparently this person only communicates with emoticons? 🙂

“This is POF (Plenty of Fish) but I am a mermaid.” Good, because I am a merman dad! A merman!

“Not looking for anything serious…STAYAWAYCREEPS” i.e. all creeps click here! ANDDONTRUNWORDSTOGETHER.

“More than meets the eye.” Is she a Transformer?

“I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife.” I think she is looking for her first last kiss.

“Looking for love in Aldeeran places.” Winner!

I realized while writing this that this is an almost endless treasure trove of futile attempts at impressing that special someone. Seriously, I could do this all day and all but insures at least one more dating post.

At this point I know what some of you are thinking (and the rest of you I have no clue about). You are asking, “Okay, smarty pants, since this is so fun, what about your profile headlines?” Don’t worry, I will be more then happen to pick them apart in an upcoming post, until then happy fishing.

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