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That’s The Power To Make Bad Commercials

So the mighty forces of DirectTV and Bon Jovi have teamed up to give us one truly inspiring commercial and I absolutely hate it. If you haven’t seen it here it is.

Why do I hate this commercial? The reasons are numerous but I will lay out my case before you.

The biggest reason is because at the end of the commercial Bon Jovi gives one of the creepiest looks I have ever seen. I’m talking weird dude standing in your bushes at night while peeking into your window kind of creepy. It’s so bad he should probably be put on a watch list somewhere.

The song talks about the power to turn back time (and watch a TV show you miss). In the commercial the couple on the couch is eating chips and salsa. Bon Jovi sings “let’s go back and choose spicy instead of mild” as an example of what you could do with time travel. Really? That’s what you would do if you could rewind time? Change your salsa? How about picking the winning lotto number, stopping a disaster from happening or assassinating somebody? But no, this powerful ability is being used not for the betterment of mankind, but for the mundane purpose of changing the taste of the salsa. Hope they enjoy it.

Bon Jovi isn’t done impressing us with the merits of time travel. He then sings “and maybe reconsider having that second child.” The child happens to be in the background coloring with crayons on the wall, but not for long. He disappears, like the picture of Marty McFly’s family in Back to the Future.  This leaves me with two serious issues.

One, as my brother so wisely pointed out. There is a major flaw in the space-time continuum here.  If the child disappears then he never existed, which mean the crayon on the wall should disappear too. However it does not. Thus showing us what an ill concept for a commercial (or song) this is.

Secondly, and most importantly, they are implying that the second child’s life is a big mistake! How cruel and heartless is that? I have never met a parent who says that their child was a mistake.

As it is stands now the only mistake I see is this commercial itself. If only we could go back in time and prevent it from being made.

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